How to Deal With a Toxic Co-Worker

Dealing with a toxic co-worker can be frustrating, difficult and, at times, discouraging. These colleagues can be tough to work with because of behaviors such as being manipulative and overreacting to simple mistakes. They can affect your well-being at your job and even in your personal life if your stress follows you home.

To best deal with a toxic co-worker, there are several strategies you can use. First, however, you need to know how to identify these colleagues at your workplace.

Sometimes, people are just difficult to get along with, but never is it more apparent than when they’re your co-workers—and it’s even more difficult if they’re toxic. Many people have at least one toxic colleague who they interact with at their workplace.

Identifying traits of a toxic co-worker include:

• They’re rude and disrespectful.
• They’re confrontational and aggressive.
• They overact to other people’s mistakes.
• They blame others for their mistakes.
• They take credit for other people’s work or accomplishments.
• They’re often unsatisfied in the workplace.
• They act like they know everything.
• They frequently use sarcasm and ridicule to tear down others.
• They often use negative verbal language and body language.
• They’re manipulative.
• They’re controlling.

One of the most significant impacts of colleagues who have these traits is the spread of negativity. This is because toxic co-workers are so negative, it can be contagious. This kind of pessimistic environment can have a massive effect on your work life.

Dealing with a toxic co-worker every day at work can become exhausting. In a situation like that, you need all the help you can get. Here are six strategies to make it better for yourself and, ultimately, your colleagues.

The first step in dealing with toxic co-workers is to learn more about their behavior. You don’t have to watch their every move, but by paying attention to their interactions with yourself and others, you can identify the problems at hand and develop a plan to deal with them.

It may be helpful to take some time during the day to write down your observations of your toxic co-worker’s behavior. You can review these notes later to see if any themes or patterns are emerging.

One of the most effective ways to deal with toxic co-workers is to try to understand the motivation behind their behavior. This will allow you to make an informed decision about your next steps and potentially prevent a situation from spiraling out of control.

For example, if your toxic co-worker’s main trait is being overly negative at work, and you believe it’s because they feel underappreciated, it’s best to avoid bringing the matter to your manager. It could be seen as tattling, gossiping, overstepping your bounds or undermining your co-worker, which could reflect poorly on you and strain your relationship with this colleague.

The third step is to implement healthy coping mechanisms. For example, if your stress levels are rising, you may find it helpful to step away from your desk for a few minutes to get some space. You could use this time to try some deep breathing or a short meditation.

Alternatively, if you find that focusing on work tasks helps you stay calm and avoid getting stressed out by a toxic co-worker, you could do that rather than, say, grabbing coffee in the breakroom where that colleague is engaging in negative behavior. You can always get that drink later.

You may also find it helpful in general to try to remember the positive aspects of the workplace and focus on those instead of how your co-worker is making you miserable.

Try to avoid engaging with toxic co-workers unnecessarily. Often, they’ll disagree with you or dig in their heels when you try to talk to them, so limiting interactions can help you make the ones you do have as positive as possible. In addition, by showing your integrity when you engage with this co-worker, you’ll be a role model for others.

Another reason to avoid unnecessary interactions is because they can prevent you from focusing on your work and could potentially affect your personal life, hampering your productivity and possibly even your overall health.

In some cases, the best way to deal with a toxic co-worker is by talking to them so you can share your concerns in a constructive way. Discuss how their behavior is affecting you, and invite them to share their perspective on you, as well. Communicate that you want to identify ways to improve your work relationship for your mutual benefit at the company.

Keep the conversation honest yet positive and nonjudgmental. This kind of real, authentic interaction between the two of you could help create a better workplace environment that benefits not only you and your toxic colleague but also your other co-workers as well.

If your interactions with your toxic co-worker are becoming overwhelming and you’ve tried talking things out without success or making progress, discuss the situation with your manager. You could suggest that they host a meeting to determine—or reinforce—group or company standards and address the negative practices and environment.

If your manager moves forward with this meeting, don’t use it as an opportunity to ambush your co-worker or throw them under the bus. Instead, you can ask everyone on the team to come up with practical solutions for the problems everyone is facing.

While a toxic co-worker’s behavior can have a negative effect on you and others at your company, taking the six steps above can help you alleviate any stress you’re experiencing. It can benefit your colleagues as well.

That said, it’s important to realize that this type of peer is hard to change, so you need to make sure that you keep your cool and try to avoid escalating the situation whenever you’re dealing with a toxic co-worker. Control what you can control, including your response to any negativity around you.

Interested in more career insights? Subscribe to Career Insider to receive our quarterly life sciences job market reports, career advice and more.