Your earning potential and career growth can be stunted if you don’t know how to handle a co-worker (or boss) who doesn’t communicate well. Here are three ways to improve your relationship with a colleague who is a non-communicator.
Have you ever sent a detailed email to a co-worker about an important project requesting feedback or input and never got a response? Maybe you hear from them about some change they would’ve made after the deadline, when it’s too late to do anything about it. You might feel frustrated or annoyed that your colleague doesn’t follow up with you or sends you vague information, making it impossible to do your best work.
If you’re wishing that your co-worker would talk to you and have an in-depth conversation, you’re probably dealing with a non-communicator. Your job can be even more difficult if your direct boss is a non-communicator, because you never know when you’re on the right track, doing a good job, or being recognized for your work. Your earning potential and career growth can be stunted if you don’t know how to handle a co-worker (or boss) who doesn’t communicate well. Here are three ways to improve your relationship with a colleague who is a non-communicator.
Truly connect with them
Life science professionals can become non-communicators for a variety of reasons. They might feel isolated at work in an environment that isn’t conducive to engagement between team members, or they could be fearful of others taking credit for their ideas. When your colleague doesn’t communicate well, it has to do with something about them (not you), so try not to take it personally.
Initiate a conversation and request some time when you can truly connect with them. You could ask them out to lunch, invite them to a happy hour event, or find another way to meet with them outside of the workplace. Many people feel anxious or “on guard” while at work, so meeting away from others can help them feel more relaxed and free to be themselves. When you do connect, don’t necessarily jump into business. Try to find some things you both have in common and talk about those first. Later, you can transition to discussing the workplace, just be sure to steer clear of gossip. Finally, you want to end on some point to follow up with them about. It could be another lunch meeting or sending them an article you think they’d like.
Follow up
After your discussion, be sure to follow up on anything you said you would do. This helps to show the person that you can be trusted and any fear or apprehension they might have about you isn’t necessary. If you work in a toxic environment, it is especially important for you to show that you are different, and aren’t like the majority of people in the organization.
Reach out to them periodically with different types of information they might be interested or that might be useful in their role. Are they saying “thank you” or acknowledging your efforts? If so, your connection-building is working and they are probably more communicative with you overall. If not, your co-worker could still be distrusting due to the environment, or they are not very courteous in general.
Let them know you need more
There’s a possibility that despite reaching out and trying to establish a better relationship with your colleague, they still aren’t responsive. Take a moment and consider if you really need a connection with this co-worker to do your best work. Are they on your immediate team, in your department, or are they your manager? Does the lack of communication you have with them affect your overall performance?
If this colleague doesn’t have a direct impact on your role, you should think about limiting your own contact with them unless mandated to do so. Spending energy on someone who has chosen not to communicate isn’t the best use of your time. However, if the person’s impact is vital to your role, having a direct conversation about their lack of engagement is best. Ask them to meet with you briefly and talk about how their unresponsiveness is affecting your goals and the team goals. Listen to what they have to say and suggest any solutions that could work for both of you. If for some reason you can’t speak with your co-worker one on one, mentioning the lack of communication with your manager might be the way to go.
It’s almost impossible to control the actions of others in the workplace. If a colleague doesn’t communicate or respond to you, it can lead to internal challenges and negatively impact your performance. Try truly connecting with your co-worker on aspects of life outside of work and then with issues on the job. Follow up on any points you had in common and areas where you can help them. In the event their communication with you doesn’t increase, having a direct conversation with your colleague about the issue can be helpful. What is one way you can try to connect with the non-communicator at your job?
Porschia Parker is a Certified Coach, Professional Resume Writer, and Founder of Fly High Coaching. She empowers ambitious professionals and motivated executives to add $10K on average to their salaries.
