Unfortunately, you’re not going to get along with everyone. But when you figure out how to communicate and both know what to expect, it goes a long way in smoothing out what could be a rocky ride.
When I was growing up my mom always told me you can’t get along with everyone. It sounds a bit harsh, but when you take a step back and think about the billions of people in the world with different opinions, backgrounds and thoughts it makes sense. What makes it hard is when the person you really don’t get along with is your boss.
So, what do you do when you’re constantly clashing with the one person who can make or break your success in your current role? Learn the art of deep breathing and then utilize these tactics.
Figure Out Their Motivation
First, ask yourself why you aren’t getting along. And be honest. Is it that you see your role differently? Did you make a mistake and now they are having more oversight? Are they up for a promotion and are taking more of an interest in everyone’s work? Whatever the reason is, diagnose it. This will not only help you understand where they are coming from but also help you put a plan in place to ease the tension.
Communicate Clearly
Most problems can be solved with effective communication. If you’ve been having issues in this area with your manager, it’s time to start overcommunicating with them. But before you go to them, gather all your thoughts, opinions and questions.
Start by making a list of all your open projects and regular tasks. Assign statuses to each of the projects with relevant data to back up where you are and add in estimated completion dates if there isn’t a hard deadline associated with them. Then look at your recurring tasks and write down any thoughts or questions on how you can either improve or alter these.
When you’re ready to have the conversation, start by saying that you want to make sure you are both on the same page for your duties and performance so you put together a working document of your tasks. Then state that you’d like to go over it weekly (or bi-weekly, whatever you meeting cadence is) to ensure you stay aligned. Finally, ask how they would like to receive questions and smaller status updates. Deferring to them on their communication style and preferences can help to smooth out any tension, plus you will both know what to expect without any gray areas.
Align on Goals
After working on your communication, it will be easier to align on common goals. In the end, they want you to succeed so that the team can succeed. Take initiative and ask for concrete milestones that will help you get to where both you want to be in your role and where they need you to be. It’s likely that even if you don’t get along on a personal level, you’re somewhat on the same page as far as work goes. If your company has a review period, try to have the conversation then. If not, let them know in the meeting prior that you’d like to have clarity on common goals you can work towards and ask if you can discuss in your next conversation. That way they have time to prepare and you don’t blindside them.
Unfortunately, you’re not going to get along with everyone. But when you figure out how to communicate and both know what to expect, it goes a long way in smoothing out what could be a rocky ride.
