Why Second Guessing Yourself at Work Bad and How to Stop

Second guessing yourself at work must be avoided at all costs.

We all make hundreds of decisions each day, some simple, some more complex, and if you tend to second-guess yourself after making decisions, especially at work, it will interfere with your workflow and cause you stress. Habitual overanalyzing and second-guessing can paralyze you. Before discussing how to prevent your second-guessing tendency, it’s important to delve into the reasons why.

For some, the urge to constantly second-guess decisions is a byproduct of their family history and the nature of their upbringing. If you had a parent who constantly agonized over each choice they made or expressed doubt about your ability to make good decisions either, might cause you to start second guessing yourself. If you were raised by a perfectionist or are married to one, you might tend to think that there is always a perfect answer for every problem or situation. People who lack confidence and doubt themselves, no matter what the cause, can tend to second-guess their decisions.

Decisions in The Digital Age

Even if you are normally comfortable making and sticking to decisions, the ever-expanding digital world may make you second guessing yourself or doubtful or confused. With the world and information available constantly changing, knowing what decision is right becomes more difficult. Knowing what information is reliable has become more challenging in the digital age. People can make decisions based on faulty information, and that’s frightening and frustrating.

Understanding the Nature of Decisions

Part of the problem with making choices is people sometimes misunderstand the nature of decision-making. For example:

• There’s rarely a perfect answer to any situation or challenge.
• A good decision is the one made based on the information available and current circumstances.
• Decisions are often changeable or reversible.
• Second guessing yourself isn’t bad if it reverses bad, impulsive decisions.

Make Decision-Making Systematic

Sometimes, a decision must be made immediately, but that’s rare as you start second guessing yourself in most situations. Usually, you have time to use a system to identify and analyze a problem or situation and gather the information you need before committing to a decision. Creating a step-by-step approach for arriving at choices can free you from unnecessary worry and anxiety.

For an uncomplicated decision between two or three possibilities, make a quick list of pros and cons and pick the one with the most advantages and least disadvantages. For bigger decisions with more variables, design a system to use that works well for you. Here’s one example:

1. Identify and define the problem to be solved or the decision to be made. If you aren’t clear about the decision, you can’t analyze it.
2. List the goals of the decision. What do you want to accomplish with the choice you make?
3. List the possibilities. Whether there are two possibilities or ten, make a list.
4. Narrow the list by crossing off anything impractical because of cost, time restraints, etc that let you second guessing yourself.
5. Gather information and get outside input if it’s appropriate.
6. Consider pros and cons for each of the possibilities.
7. Commit and move on.

Practice using the system with simple, everyday decisions, and it will become part of your daily routine. Here’s a simple example of how to use the steps above.

Decision: The office printer has died and needs to be replaced. You’ve been assigned the task of choosing a new printer for the office. You have a budget and a deadline.

Step1: You need to buy a new printer for the office within the assigned budget and have it delivered this week.

Step 2: What do you need the new printer to do?

Step 3: List the printers available.

Step 4: Cross off printers out of your price range or ones that won’t be available on time.

Step 5: Investigate features, read reviews, ask others for input.

Step 6: One costs less, one holds more paper, one warranty is longer, etc.

Once you’ve made your decision, remind yourself that you’ve made the best decision possible with the information you had. Plan to evaluate the decision and its results at a later date. Mark it on your calendar -check on printer operation. By making an appointment with yourself to consider the decision, you permit yourself not to think about it. Move on to the next thing without second guessing yourself.

Rumination - A Pattern of Negative Self-Talk

If you continue to rethink and keep on second guessing yourself after using a logical process to decide something, there are three steps to take to stop the pattern.

1. Interrupt Rumination. Rumination is negative self-talk that isn’t helpful to anyone. Thoughts such as:

• That was the wrong decision.
• It’s going to be a disaster.
• I never get things right.
• The project will fail, and everyone will blame me.

Interrupt the thoughts. Recognize that you are in a negative-self talk pattern. Compassionately tell yourself to stop and remind yourself that rumination isn’t helpful.

2. Accept that What is, is. The decision is made. You used a tried-and-true process for making it, and, it was the best decision based on the information you had. So,what will happen will happen. ‘Woulda-coulda-shoulda’ isn’t helpful, and this is where we are now.
3. Redirect Your Thoughts. Once you’ve stopped second guessing yourself and negative self-talk and accepted things as they are, replace the thought pattern with something positive. Redirect your thinking by asking yourself some open-ended questions designed for self-growth.

• Is there anything I can do to improve my decision-making process?
• Are there things I can learn to make me better at my job?
• What is the status of the project?
• Are there any positive steps I can take to ensure the project succeeds?

So, if you find you keep second guessing yourself a lot, especially at work, there are solutions to the problem. You can think about why you might tend to second-guess yourself and consider talking to someone about how past relationships have affected your self-confidence. Develop a system for intelligent, informed decision-making and continue to practice with it, update it and improve it until you’re satisfied. Teach yourself to interrupt ruminations and replace them with positive thoughts and plans.